Moving on From You
by rianess
Summary: GippalxRikku. What happenes when your best friend leaves you by the wayside, and you realise you love him. How easy can a person actually move on from that, if at all?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Final Fantasy.**

**A/N: This will be quite short, it's RikkuxGippal cantered, with minimal or no OC involvement. **

* * *

**Moving on From You **

* * *

"Just because you love someone doesn't mean you have to be involved with them. Love is not a bandage to cover wounds."

**Hugh Elliott**

* * *

**Rikku **

It happened a long time ago now. I don't really remember when. It was just there…somehow. We'd been friends for, well, forever. I think we met when we were five, or so. I have these hazy memories of us playing in the sand, our mothers looking on and laughing.

At school we stuck together like glue, neither of us wanted to be separated, and so they let us. We learned about everything together, and that was how we both found our mutual passion: machina. Our fathers were delighted when they discovered how much we both loved machines, and were glad to show us anything we wanted. And boy! Was that a lot!

Things stayed the same for years, people used to say, 'There go Rikku and Gippal again. You just can't seem to find one without the other.'

When your parents died, and your eye was injured, you came to stay with us, and we were closer than ever. I would wake up in the night to hear you crying, consumed with grief over the loss of your family, and I would hold you until you went to sleep again. We never spoke of it the next morning, you would simply smile and we'd go on as if nothing had happened.

I'm not sure when things changed.

I guess it was as we both got older; you started to notice things around you more. Namely, you began to notice _girls. _And hoo boy! They sure noticed you too. It was a gradual thing, but slowly, you pulled away from me, bit by bit, inch by inch, until we barely spoke more than a 'hello' over the breakfast table.

* * *

Of course, I didn't take all this lying down. You were my best friend, and I wasn't going to give that up without a fight! So I confronted you, several times, and you looked at me like I was insane. 

"Sheesh, Rikku! Chill out would you?" I remember you saying, the day before you left for the crusaders. You were standing there; half dressed, eying me like I was a wendigo on the rampage.

"What do you mean? I only want to know why you've been avoiding me!" I retorted, genuinely annoyed that you seemed to be brushing me aside like the last ten years hadn't happened.

"See, the thing is, people move on, and –" You were cut off by the sound of some disgustingly saccharine female voice, echoing through the doorway of the room whose door I had practically beat down just trying to get you to answer it.

"Oh, no one. Just Cid's girl, you know?" You replied, facing away from me. At the time, I was furious that you would just turn your back on me like that. But now, I'm glad. Because it meant you didn't see my face when you dismissed me so offhandedly to whatever bimbo you had talked into your bed. By the time you'd sufficiently mollified her; I had my expression under control, and was confident the sharp pain which had knifed its way into my stomach was not showing on my face.

I smiled, not too much, just enough to show sheepish embarrassment. You fell for it, you stupid bastard.

"I'm sorry Gippal, I didn't realise you were busy. You're right, I'm overreacting. I just heard you are leaving soon, and I was worried, you know?" You were frowning, but nodded anyway. I could see relief in your expression, and I hated you for it.

"Yeah, I understand. I'm sorry we haven't spent that much time together lately, but…" Your voice trailed off, and you tossed me your most charming smile, perfectly tuned to evoke the most endearing of feelings in the one you inflicted it on. You were all boyish innocence but with a hint of mischief in those green, green eyes. It didn't work on me then, and it never had before. I knew who you were, underneath all that, or at least, I thought I did.

"Well, I don't reckon I'll see you before you go, so goodbye and good luck. Maybe we can catch up when this is all over?" I said, though it was obvious from my tone that I meant no such thing. You frowned again, but shook my offered hand. I turned away, without looking back, silently cursing you in my head.

* * *

That was the day, when I stopped being Rikku, your best friend. 

That was the day I became 'just Cid's girl, you know?' And I hated it, hated you.

That was also the day I realised I was in love with you, and that it was too late.

* * *

I agreed to go on a salvage mission with my Dad and Brother. They were both surprised when I said yes, usually I avoided those things like the plague, but I wanted to get away, far away, from Home and everything that reminded me of you. 

At first, it was a bloody nightmare, I don't know if you're aware, but salvage missions can be extremely tedious and repetitive. At least when you're looking for something worth salvaging that is.

But, then it happened – we found the big prize. Cid had been trying to get hold of this airship since he first unearthed the ancient documents speaking of it. It had become an obsession for him, and even while on other missions, he was always thinking about it. I don't know what lead us to the ruins of Baaj Temple that night, but there we were, and there _it _was.

Of course, that mission was distracting in more ways than one – as it was the first time I ever met Tidus. Not that I knew his name at the time. He reminded me of you at first, with that twinkle in his eyes. But he was different. A lot of what people see in the surface of you is engineered. It's done on purpose, for effect. I know it's what made you so successful with women, and I also assume it is what has made you a successful leader and business man.

Tidus isn't like that though, with him its all natural. His charisma is genuine, and just as much a part of him as his terrible sense of humour. Believe me, he tells _really _bad jokes. So I liked him, a lot, he seemed to be everything you were and everything you're not at the same time. And, even better, he noticed me.

Not as Cid's daughter, or Aniki's little sister, or that girl who's always with Gippal – but me. Rikku. He noticed me as a girl. I caught him looking a few times and was too startled to object. _No one _had looked at me that way before, and it was a huge novelty.

* * *

I didn't realise it at the time, but that meeting with Him, started something for me. Something more amazing than I could ever had imagined. I met my cousin, made new friends, and for a long time, completely forgot about you. I mean, who needed you? I had just helped the High Summoner defeat Sin once and for all. I admit to being rather pleased that I had done what you could not. After all, that's what you told everyone was your reason for leaving Home – to defeat Sin. And here was me, 'just Cid's girl' and I'll actually gone and bloody well done it. 

Where were you then, I wondered?

After that, I went everywhere. Travelled all over, visiting with Yuna, working with Brother to fix up the airship he and Buddy had found buried under the ice. That was a _long _job.

And then Kimarhi came – he had found a sphere on Mount Gagazet, and it showed _Him_. Tidus. Who we all watched vanish after that terrible battle. He was on that sphere. Or someone who looked _very_ like him. I knew then I had to take it to Yuna.

When we began our sphere hunting, I somehow knew I would be seeing you again. And I don't mean that in a romantic, sentimental way. By this stage, I had buried my feeling for you so deep; I had almost forgotten they existed. It was probably wrong of me, but all I felt now was contempt.

I understood; understand even, that people grow apart as they get older, that it is an inevitable part of life. But, I don't know. Somehow, it didn't feel like we had grown apart. It felt more like a rejection, and it _stung. _

* * *

I wasn't wrong either. It did lead me back to you, and as I stood there, looking at everything you had accomplished in such a short time, without me, something in me snapped. A tiny flame of hope, that I didn't even realise I had been harbouring, winked out. 

Oh I didn't let it show, as usual. I just smiled and laughed, and when you came walking past, without even looking at me, but making sure you gave Yuna the eye, I gave up completely. You calling me Cid's girl and flirting outrageously with Yuna was all the evidence I needed. You had moved on from me, and now I had to move on from you. Properly this time.

So I did what I had always done when I was unhappy – I threw myself into my work with a reckless abandon – and what do you know? It paid off! Again, me and my friends did what you weren't able to do – save Spira. In the end, it was me Yunie and Paine, and we socked that tin can a good'un.

* * *

Now, it's all over. I haven't seen you since the victory party, and only exchanged five words with you then anyway. I surprise myself sometimes, how well I can hide things from people. Because of the way I appear – happy-go-lucky and carefree – they assume I'm frivolous, like I'm still a child underneath and should be treated as such. Yuna and Paine, though they depend on me in battle, rarely talk to me of anything important if it's unrelated to our missions. I realised that, for my whole life, I've been jumping on board with other people's missions, other people's goals. 

Cid, Brother, Yuna, even Paine. But enough now. The Gullwings are disbanding. Yuna is leaving to marry Tidus, Paine is going to Bevelle for reasons she 'will not disclose', and us Al-Bhed? Well, we're going Home. To the ruins that is, to start again. We have always rebuilt, and Cid feels we've left it long enough. Rin says the Al-Bhed no longer need Home, but I disagree.

This Al-Bhed needs Home, if only to hide in it from the rest of the world, and from you.

* * *

So, despite my resolve to find my own path, I am at Home, helping my Dad. And things actually aren't that bad. I've found the bickering somewhat reassuring, and though while none of them take me seriously, neither do they start pressing me to talk about my feelings if I'm quiet for more than five minutes. 

Things have been relatively peaceful for the last six months or so, and tomorrow, is my eighteenth birthday. I was actually looking forward to it, until Cid told me he'd invited you and all your Faction members along for the ride. The usual protests of 'it's my party and I'll invite who I want to' fell on deaf ears. It seems I have no say in the matter.

I don't want to see you. I don't actually want to see anyone. But apparently my wishes don't come into it.

So, now I have a choice.

I can stay and spend the day talking to people who will coo at me and pet me on the head like some kind of playful puppy, running roughshod over my wishes and desires, or, I could run away. _Far _away.

I haven't decided yet.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Final Fantasy.**

**A/N: Thanks to Dragontwin for being my first reviewer! I hope you like this chapter!**

* * *

Chapter Two

* * *

"I cannot think well of a man who sports with any woman's feelings; and there may often be a great deal more suffered than a stander-by can judge of."

**Jane Austen (1775 - 1817)**

_Mansfield __Park_

* * *

**Rikku **

So now, here I am. You and the others are due to arrive in a little under four hours, and I have realised I don't want to be here. Because I know how it will be. I will have to talk to you, be nice to you – pretend that I'm your friend – all that rot.

Cid has made it clear he wants you to take over from him when he retires, and so in public, we have to show what a good relationship we all have. There cannot be any talk of ill regard, or the handover will not go smoothly. People remind of this all the time, as if I'm stupid or something – I'm not. Of course I realise why this is so crucial – the last thing we need now is a civil war, though I'd like to think it might not get that far, neither am I blind to the possibilities. Everything else aside, I was raised as the daughter of a leader, and as such, am not totally ignorant on the subject of politics and all its intrigues. I just don't happen to be very interested in it, and so stay as far away from that part of my life as possible.

I am very angry with Cid for turning my birthday party into another propaganda platform for his alliance with you. Surely there are plenty of other days in the year for them to get together and spout off their pointless rhetoric, with hundreds of reporters eating up every word? You would think so, wouldn't you? And there's something else, something he's planning, and I don't know what it is. Whatever it is, I'm sure I don't _want _to know, and so it's another reason to be elsewhere.

Well, I'm not going to just sit down and take it. So, I can stay, as I iterated before, or run. And I think I'm going to run. The logistics of such a decision are _not _as easy as they look on the surface. I _am _in the middle of the Bikanel Desert after all, and one does not simply walk into the desert on foot. Unless you are looking for a long, drawn out, painful death of course. And while I might be pissed off at the moment, I'm not that far gone.

I'm going to have to be a bit tricky…

* * *

Speeding away on a hover, and giggling from the thrill of success, I head towards the now barely used docks. I know from the shipping schedule in Cid's office, which he completely ignores, that the S.S. Liki is due to arrive here in a couple of hours. This, incidentally, gives me enough time to get there and get on board before your airship even lands. I've left a note of course, something suitably childish and whiney about how I'm not going to a political party on my birthday and 'Daddy' will just have to put up with it. Cid won't buy it, he'll know there's another reason, even if he doesn't completely understand what it is. Brother will likely be suspicious too, but the reporters will not be. They don't see anything other than my exterior and so will put it down to me being a spoilt little girl. I have no idea if you will guess, nor do I care.

Well…that's a lie actually. I hope you _do _work out that I fled rather than have to be in your company, and I _really _hope it pisses you off, maybe even bruises that over inflated ego of yours. I sort of doubt it though. Even when we were little, you didn't seem to be able to understand what was going on inside my head, unless it was to do with machina. If ever I was upset about anything, didn't really matter what it was, you would just look at me funny, and declare, '_Girls are weird!'_

That used to discomfit me, and I didn't really know why until I got older. I guess you were giving me the brush off, even then.

* * *

In short order, I have bought my passage on board the Liki, and am on my way to Bevelle. Once we dock there, I'll be heading to the Calm Lands. I've decided to look in on an old friend, and who knows? Maybe I'll disappear for a while. I'm sure I can persuade Clasko to keep my secret, though I'll have to keep away from the CommSpheres.

There is nothing really noteworthy on the ship. I've been chatting to some of the passengers, none of whom recognise me. Not that I can blame them, I don't really look like myself right now. For one thing, I'm wearing more clothes than normal. I've mostly covered myself, and since it's a bit breezy on the deck, also have a wrap to keep me warm. I dyed my hair too, and have fished out some new Dresspheres that I had Shinra make for me. So I can understand that they don't realise who I really am. Neither did the guy I bought my ticket from, which to be honest, is a plus point for me. I'm hoping my trail will go cold pretty quickly, as I'd rather Cid caught up with me later rather than sooner.

When we finally dock in Bevelle, I am _so _ready to be off that ship. It took a very long time, and I got bored pretty quickly. I dared not take a nap though, as I wanted to be on my guard. The last thing I needed was for one of our people to sneak in and haul me back to Bikanel.

Looking at the city, I noticed nothing much has changed since the last time I was there. I don't think it ever does. Even when they rebuilt after Sin fell on the city, they made the buildings look exactly as they had before.

I hurried about my business as fast as possible, not wanting to draw any undue attention to myself. I suddenly realised that I didn't know if Paine or Baralai had been invited to my party, or if they had, were actually planning to attend. In all honesty, I hadn't spoken with either of them in a very long time. I don't know if it's me, or what, but people drift away from me. Even Brother, though I'm not sure if that's a bad thing or not.

There was no point worrying about it though, so I kept on walking until I was a nice, goodly distance out of the city. Since Rin took a fancy to them, chocobos have been available to rent everywhere again. So, I grabbed one and sped off over the vast expanse of the Calm Lands. Though, not so calm these days, what with the hoards of tourists and all. I dodged the attraction reps who are trying to get my attention, and ploughed on ahead until I reached Clasko's place.

* * *

It's sure been a while since I've been here, and judging by the look of things, he's certainly not let the grass grow under his feet. I can see extensive renovations have taken place over the last six months; he must have hired an army to help him get it done so quickly!

I approached the entrance cautiously, not wanting to be the one to disturb a room full of chocobos.

"Clasko?" I called out, looking around. His head popped up from around the corner, smiling, and then frowned slightly when he didn't recognise me.

"Um, can I help you Miss?" He said, walking towards me and peering at me in the dim light.

"Sure can! It's Rikku, Clasko! I dyed my hair and stuff." I explained and his face brightened. He came a bit closer and studied me for a long moment, before relaxing and offering his hand for me to shake.

"Hello Rikku! How are you?" He asked, and that began our little reunion. I explained to him how things were going and what I was doing there, and he patted my shoulder in sympathy.

"I totally agree with you Rikku. I sure wouldn't want all those people there on my birthday, I would be so nervous! It wouldn't be fun at all, and birthdays are supposed to be fun. So how come you came here?" He wanted to know, and I smiled winsomely.

"Well, when I knew I wanted to get away, I also realised I didn't want to be on my own. And I thought of you and your chocobos. I know I can trust you see, not to tell them where I am. And I thought I could help out and stuff." I explained, and to my relief, he nodded.

"That sure sounds fine, Rikku. I'm glad you came actually, there's this fiend keeps trying to eat my chocobos, and I haven't had any luck getting rid of it. You see, it all started…"

I smiled as he talked. Good old Clasko. Never one to turn anyone in need away.

* * *

The fiend problem was solved pretty quickly. All that training I had done as a Gullwing really paid off, and I had kept it up since we split. You used to laugh at me when I told you I wanted to learn how to fight, and told me not to worry myself over it, and to leave the fighting to the men. I was furious with you at the time, since you'd never told me I couldn't do something before. It made me wonder sometimes, were you just humouring me? Was I ever your friend at all? Or just because our mothers were friends, and then later you lived with us, it was easier to get along than not? Was I just being overly paranoid?

I did actually go and speak with someone about all this, a professional someone, when it started to disrupt my sleeping. My thoughts had jumbled together so badly, that I couldn't get any respite from my own imagination. Oh, it was fine when I was working or with the Brother and Buddy. It was only the time in _between _that was causing a problem.

The woman, who I saw, told me that that one rejection had completely destroyed my self esteem. Despite it being possible that you weren't as good a friend as I thought, she reckoned there was no point dwelling it it now.

Her reccommendations was that I needed to find something I wanted, just for myself, and go out and get it. Prove to my subconscious that I was worth something, that I was good at something, all on my own. I suppose I kind of did that with the Gullwings. I didn't become an expert in so many Dresspheres by pure chance, no did anyone have to piggyback me along the way. I did it, me, myself. And it is a real achievement, of which I remind myself frequently. One thing I am good at, really good at, is opening up a can of whoop ass on the bad guys.

But it wasn't quite doing something for myself. I suppose that's why I'm here now, at Clasko's. Sure I'm helping him out, but it's something I decided to do, without anyone else's input. Even when the Gullwings was founded, a lot of that was Yuna's and Brother's idea. I just went along, because they needed me.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to diss my family, or say that they don't care, or some such. But, I don't know. Lately, I feel rather taken for granted. And I don't like it.

* * *

**Gippal **

The days have now turned into weeks, and no one has seen hide nor hair of you. Where are you Rikku? And how could you be so bloody selfish as to run away like that? People are _worried_ about you, and there are bigger things to consider than your little girly fancies. I am massively pissed off with you right now, you really embarrassed me and the rest of your family.

We were all standing there like lemons, waiting for the guest of honour to show up for her own party, and what happens? Some poor git comes in and tells us you've disappeared! He tells us there's a note like it's meant to make us feel better or something, idiot.

Cid read it pretty quick and his face was red by the end of it. Wordlessly, he thrust it towards me, and ordered me to read it. I scanned what little there was there, and discovered you were unhappy that your party was not completely about you, and so you left. Without so much as a by-your-leave. Stupid girl, I mean, honestly? You should try and remember that the whole world does not revolve around you, Cid's girl.

* * *

I was fuming then, and I'd have to admit, I'm still simmering now. We had _plans_, Cid and I, for that party, and your little drama has gone and _ruined _them. I guess it's always been that way. You've always been underfoot. We've been friends for a long time, but I seem to remember having to include you in _everything_, so you wouldn't have some hissy fit or another. Not that I've ever actually seen or heard of you having a tantrum, mind you, but I bet that that was only because your parents gave you whatever you wanted.

When we grew up, I figured it was safe to back off a bit, you didn't seem to like it, and you had a go at me a few times, but you mainly let it be after that had no effect. You just couldn't seem to understand that I was _busy_, and couldn't spend my every waking minute keeping you out of trouble, no matter how much you or Cid begged me to. I would have put some distance between us much sooner, if your old man hadn't told me of his plans early on, and asked me to make friends with you. I bet you don't know about that do you!?

I moved in after Mum and Dad died, and that's when Cid told me he was planning to make me his heir. He was setting up some contract to make it legal, and hinted that it involved you. He said it would be a great help if I was to continue the friendship we had started when we were five, and I didn't see the harm in agreeing with him. Unfortunately, I didn't realise this would mean you'd end up clinging to me like a limpet! In the end, he understood why I drew away from you, and agreed it was for the best.

* * *

Then _that _day happened. The last time I saw you, before left to join the Crusaders and ended up trying out for the Crimson Squad. You came over and nearly broke the door down, and when I opened it, you were spitting fire. I tried dodging you, but you weren't having any of it, until the girl I was with spoke. I don't remember who she was, or what she looked like even. But I turned away to speak to her, and when I turned back, you were smiling! And you even looked a bit embarrassed. It was so weird!

A few brief words later, and you were gone. I didn't see you then for months, and when I did, it turned out you had become a Guardian, and, what's more, you, along with the other Guardians, helped your summoner defeat Sin once and for all! You had gone off and beaten me at my own game! I was livid!

I couldn't believe it, that you had just flounced off and done it. Then slowly, I realised it wasn't such a great thing. After all, there were a large group of you, and one of them had been Auron. It was probably mostly them who did all the work, and when I questioned Cid and Brother about it, they didn't have much to say on the matter.

I didn't see a lot of your or them, for a long time after that. I was too busy setting up the Faction and overseeing the work at Djose. When I did go to Bikanel, you were nowhere to be found, and I didn't much care. You were out of my thoughts and my life, and that was just how I wanted it.

* * *

When I did finally see you, I could not believe the change in you! You were walking around in a bikini and a mini skirt, flicking your hair and fluttering like you didn't have a care in the world. And compared to me, I guess you didn't. Your cousin was there, and I wasted no time in giving her a good once over. Pleased that she'd passed muster, I wondered whether my charms would work on her, but didn't really put that much effort into it. Since you were there, I felt I had to say _something_, but was not expecting you to react the way you did.

I guess that's why, when you came back again, that I made up that stuff about us being a couple. As if! I know Cid has plans for us, but it will be for convenience, in name only. I don't think I could ever look at you that way, and neither do I want to.

And then it happened again – you and your cohorts saved Spira and had to rescue Nooj, Baralai and I in the process. I couldn't deny it then – I watched you fight. And though I will never tell you this – you were spectacular. I couldn't take my eyes off you. That made me wonder. Did I feel anything for you? I mean, we were friends for so long, I would've thought we were beyond all that.

When I saw you at the victory party, and you ignored me, I didn't really notice, I was too caught up in my realisation. I sat on it, until your eighteenth birthday. Until the party where Cid was planning to announce our engagement. In fact I was rather surprised you hadn't contacted me about it before then, as I rather thought you would want to discuss it before Cid told the world. But I supposed you didn't really care or something. Well that is, before you disappeared. Now I'm left wondering again.

Did you run away because you didn't want politics at your party, or because you don't want to marry me?


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Final Fantasy. **

**A/N: Thanks DCoD! You are always such a great reviewer, I always get a bashful smile on my face when I read your reviews. Dude, I really appreciate it. And to Dragontwin, thanks for the lovely review. I hope you both continue to enjoy this.**

* * *

Chapter Three

* * *

"Some relationships start with fights... But, usually only in romantic comedies. Life's not the movies."

**Takayuki Ikkaku, Arisa Hosaka and Toshihiro Kawabata**,

_Animal Crossing: Wild World, 2005 _

* * *

**Rikku **

I've been at Clasko's for a while now, and I've begun to hear whispers about my 'disappearance'. I know you and Cid are looking for me, but haven't made it official, _yet. _Since I left a note and a whole bunch of my things are gone, the authorities don't seem to think any 'foul play' was involved. So it's just you guys for now. Not that means there aren't a lot of you. You seem to have involved everyone I know, including Yunie and Tidus. Strangely though, no one has contacted Clasko. He told me he hadn't heard from any of 'that lot' for a long time. Not since the last time the Gullwings were here. It's funny how we forget about people.

I heard a song about that once. "_And even though you're now for me. Soon you'll be a memory. Time catches everyone._" I wonder what it is that you and Cid want so badly with me. I've gone off for months before, like with Yuna on her pilgrimage, and no one was really that bothered. Execot to tell me off.

The suspicions have begun to eat away at me, and now it's all I can think about. I stopped sleeping after a while, and it wasn't too long before Clasko noticed.

* * *

"Rikku? What's wrong? You look terrible!" He said, before flushing at his own boldness. He started stuttering an apology, but I waved it away. 

"It's OK, you're right. I can't sleep. Why do they want to find me so bad huh? What do they want?" I replied, chewing my finger nails and frowning deeply. He gently pulled my hand away from my mouth, and pulled me into a hug. I was startled at first by his actions, but then he'd always been a rather sensitive guy. All the unhappiness I'd been bottling up bubbled to the surface, and could only find release in my total collapse of self control. I sobbed noisily against his chest, just letting it all come out.

"Sssh, it's alright Rikku. I'm sure they're just worried about you, hmmm?" He suggested, rubbing my back to try and soothe me. I shook my head vehemently and Clasko sighed. "Hey, why don't I try and find out? I could call Yuna and tell her I'd heard the rumours and wondered if you were OK or something? What do you think?" I slowly lifted my head and blinked at him owlishly. I sniffed, rubbing my nose with my sleeve while my friend scrunched his face up in reproach, and handed me a tissue. Smiling gratefully and blowing my nose, I thought about it.

"Um, I suppose…yeah. We could do that. I'd have to hide, out of sight or something." I agreed and he grinned enthusiastically.

"No problem! You can sit in the CommSphere's blind spot. Oh, and as a precaution, we can conceal your bedroom door. Just in case they decide to come down here to snoop around, and you have to hot foot it in there to hide." He said, getting up and muttering to himself about what needed to be done.

Slowly but surely, the panic which had been edging its way into my chest subsided, and my body began to relax. I felt guilty for a moment. What did I ever do to deserve a friend like Clasko?

* * *

**Gippal **

This is getting ridiculous now.

You've been gone for _ages_, and Brother has practically given you up for dead! Seriously, he's been stomping around the deck of the Celsius and alternately blubbing about the loss of his sister and then blaming _me _for driving you a way. Jeez Rikku! You're not even here and you're still ruining my life. Truth be told, I'm not so sure I want to marry you at all anymore. Maybe instead of just separate bedrooms, we can get a bigger house and have a wing each? Yeah, that would work much better!

My business has been suffering as well, because Cid insisted we all drop everything and spend our every waking moment looking for you. I'll give you one thing Cid's girl, when you don't want to be found, you really mean it, don't'cha? I sort of admire that, in some weird twisted way. I'm beginning to wonder if the Sanubia sun has warped me a bit. First the warrior skills, and now this. I don't _want _to like you, or respect you or anything. But you just keep damn surprising me.

Today has been one of the worst so far. I was dragged off to Besaid with all the rest of our unhappy hunting party, to attend some kind of crisis conference with your Gullwings and some other people. I'd not realised, until now, what a great big bunch of stiffs your friends and mine are! No one here is a happy camper, and it's starting to get on my nerves. Even Buddy's been walking round with a face like a smacked arse!

Also rubbing me up _entirely _the _wrong _way, isthat tiny, niggling worry, which is occupying a _microscopic_ part of my brain, which is just a little bit scared that something really horrible might have happened to you, and you could be hurt or worse, _dead_.

But it's not something that keeps me up at night. It's just _there. _In the back of my mind. I ignore it most of the time, but as the minutes, hours, days and weeks tick by, and still no sign of you, it gets bigger. Chip, chip, chipping away at the rest of my head, pushing aside the things that I should be worrying about, instead of _you. _I truly do have better things to do with my time, than thinking about you. Especially since you're probably living the high life somewhere, laughing at us and surrounded by blokes who worship you all day long. Stupid cow.

* * *

**Rikku **

"Are you sure about this Rikku? Because we don't have to go through with it." Clasko offered, and again I felt that strangely mixed wave of gratitude and guilt. For a split second, I wish with all my heart that I could fall _out_ of love with _you_, and _in _love with _him_. It would make my life so much easier. Not that I'm being arrogant or anything, sitting here and assuming he has feelings for me. I really don't know one way or the other, but he has such a big heart, that I'm positive that there's room inside it for me. It's a moot point anyhow. Knowing my luck, I'll probably go to my grave loving you, and hating you for it at the same time.

"Really, it's fine, I _need _you to do this. I have to know what's going on." I reassure him and he nods. I take up my position, out of sight range, but in perfect hearing distance so I don't miss any of what's said. It only takes a minute or two, before the connection is set and he's calling out through the CommSphere in Besaid. No one answers for a while, and then suddenly some old geezer comes up and tells him to pipe down. After a lot of persuasion, the old guy is sent off in search of Yuna or Tidus, and is to tell them it's about Rikku. They appear in record time, and immediately start firing questions at him.

"Whoa, whoa, Lady Yuna! I'm sorry, I don't know where she is. I just thought you might. I heard the rumours and I was worried. It can take a while for news to reach me down here, you know?" He replied and I heard Yuna sigh and Tidus swear. Another, all too familiar voice could be heard in the background, and my blood boiled at the sound of your words.

"_What? He dragged us all the way out here for that? Tell the useless bastard to leave us alone, if he doesn't know anything, he's no good to us!" _You shouted, and Clasko flinched as if stung. I could hear Yuna giving you a right telling off and smiled wickedly. You bloody deserve it you twat, so there!

My heart leapt as my attention was drawn back to the conversation going on in the sphere.

"_Now Gippal, I know you're worried lad, but…" _Cid was saying, and I heard you laugh.

"_Worried? I'm not worried old man! I just wish that spoiled brat would get her arse back here, so we can get this bloody wedding out of the way and I can go back to work._" I held my breath as I heard you pause. "_You know, when she's my wife, I may just lock her in her room. It would save me a lot of time and bother!" _My gasp was echoed along with quite a few other people, including Yuna and Clasko, and I had to fight hard with myself not to come out and give you a good beating, verbally of course. The revelations weren't over sadly.

"_Why d'you think I never told her? She would have been gone long before this otherwise!" _Cid was saying.

"_What do you mean, you never told her? Surely Rikku has a right to know, and a right to refuse!?" _Yuna protested on my behalf and I silently cheered her on. Go Yunie! Box him on the ears for me while you're at it. Better still, get Trigger Happy on his ass! Stupid old git!

"_Now little missy, what business is this of yours?" _Pops was saying and I actually felt sorry for him. Yuna is exactly the type of sleeping dragon that you don't want to poke. There is an awful lot of buried power there. Before too long, I'd had enough. A huge surge of weariness had overcome me, and I was suddenly sick of listening to you all arguing. So, I let of a spark of my magic to get Clasko's attention, and he cleared his throat into the sphere.

"Um, guys. I can see you're busy, and I need to get back to my chocobos. We've had a big expansion here, and I…" He was cut off by your exasperated voice.

"_By all means Mr Useless, goodbye and don't call again!" _You said nastily and I wanted to smack you one, right in the gob. Yunie smiled sheepishly, and they exchanged goodbyes. Clasko closed the connection, and we dropped some chocobo feathers on it, just in case one of them tried to check up on him. Hopefully, they would think he was merely being careless and not suspect him of duplicity. I rather thought it would be the former, it seemed to me, that I, my friends, and everyone who'd ever met him, had seriously underestimated this man, and it also seemed, that that was just the way he wanted it.

* * *

**Gippal **

Well, thanks to Captain Pointless, we are no closer to tracking your sorry ass down. But I guess it means we can rule his place off the list, not that it was on it anyway. Since that chocobo guy called, things here have got a bit hostile. Your cousin is in the middle of chewing your Father's ear off, and I'm getting glared at by the rest of the local population. I knew you were popular and everything, but sheesh! They're looking at me like I just drowned a puppy or something!

I wasn't serious about putting you under lock and key, and I'm sure, that once my anger has died down, I won't want to be in a separate wing of the house either. It's just, you can be bloody annoying most of the time! Wanting this, wanting that, needing attention all the time. I mean, it's not like you were ignored as a child, and you _did _have friends other than me, didn't you?

* * *

**Rikku **

I am so angry right now, that I think I might burst. Clasko has locked me in one of the empty rooms and given me things to blow up, just so I can let off some steam.

How _despicable!_

You and Cid were going to marry me off without saying a _word_ to me beforehand! Now I know what that bloody party was about! You would have announced it there, where I would have no choice but to say no, or risk starting some kind of conflict which could rip our people apart.

You utter, utter bastard! How could you do this to me? You or Pops? And Brother? Scratch that, he probably has no idea what you had in mind. He might be a bit mental, but he _does_ have my best interests at heart, and he _really_ doesn't like you. Perhaps I should start confiding in him more? Anything would be better than be married off to you like this.

You know, Fate really must have had it in for me. I guess I really should have done something about all this before now, but really...

Yes, Fate must be laughing at me. I get to marry the man I love, when he has made it clear he doesn't want me. I won't do it. As much as I have dreamed of being with you for so long, I _can't_ do it this way. I just _can't._

* * *

**Gippal **

Things here have gone from bad to worse. I just had to open my big mouth didn't I? Yuna has thrown us all out of the village, and Brother has refused to let us aboard his airship. So, we're sat in the road, waiting for one of _my _ships to come pick us up. What a bloody nightmare!

You know, when Cid first suggested this I was actually kind of looking forward to it. I thought a wife might be fun. Not to be taken too seriously, but it would be nice to have someone to come home to, on the nights I actually make it home that is. If it's not the Faction keeping me up, then it's _other _pursuits.

When he came round to finalise the details, I'd changed my mind. I realised, you being you, marriage would be a bloody nuisance. I was all ready to refuse, but your old man convinced me. It _would _be the perfect way to cement my position as leader after him, if I were to marry his daughter. Keeps it in the family and everything. Eventually we'll have to produce children, and I'm not exactly looking forward to that. But I suppose you're not exactly without your…charms. Though after you marry me, you will _not _be putting them on display for the whole world to see like you do now, oh _no_.

However, all this is really a moot point until we find you, that is. _If _we find you, I remind myself silently.

Honestly…between you and me…I'm surprised you didn't know about the wedding.

I would've thought Cid would tell you, but obviously he didn't. In a weird way, it kinda makes me feel better. You _didn't _run away because you don't want to marry me. It was something else. What though? What's really going on with you Rikku? Are you OK? Are you hurt? Do you need me?

I shut down that train of thought before it gets carried away with itself. My mind has been in control my life and actions for a long time now. My heart has been shut behind a locked door. Always there, but blocked somehow. It's been that way since the accident. Oh sure, some things have found their way past the barriers – when Home was destroyed, or when Nooj shot me in the back. Other than that, it hasn't really bothered me much.

Until now. Now it is fighting with my brain for control, and believe me, it does not seem to like some of the things I think and say about you.

Is this what it's like to go mad, I wonder?

Or do I simply…miss you?


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Final Fantasy. **

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! I really appreciate them. This chapter is shorter than I would like, but it seemed to fit. Hope everyone had a nice Christmas, mine was really peaceful (no family apart from my sister), and no Trivial Pursuit! Hoorah! **

* * *

Chapter Four

* * *

"Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinions of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. Face the truth."

**Katherine Mansfield (1888 - 1923) **

* * *

**Rikku **

Since I found out what you and Cid have been planning, I haven't been able to think straight. My mind is a frazzle, and my moods keep vacillating between anger and outright despair. Put simply, I'm a mess.

You know, when I was a little girl, I used to dream about my wedding, what it would be like, what I would wear – all that stuff. And when I imagined the groom, for some reason, it would always be you. Even before I knew how I really felt about you, before I was even able to understand those kinds of feelings, it was always you. I guess my subconscious knew who I wanted to be with, never mind that I didn't.

What infuriates me the most about this whole bloody nightmare, is the tiny spark of hope which has now miraculously arisen once more, and is currently trying to persuade me that this wedding is a good idea. That going along with it is a good idea, because surely, after we're married, you'll realise how much you really love me, need me, blah, blah, blah. All that bollocks. Because I know you won't. Even if you did, you would never admit to it.

But no matter how much I try and push it down, or scoff at for its useless ramblings, that voice is still there, niggling away at me, promising me everything I've ever wished for could come true. I would be your wife, and we could lead the Al Bhed together, a real team, a real partnership. We would be best friends _and _lovers, and though we would fight, we would still come home to each other, because we were in love.

* * *

**Gippal **

I'm just about ready to give up now. Cid is mad at me, Yuna is mad at me, Baralai is mad at me, hell, even Nhadala is mad at me. And Brother, jeez, don't even get me started on _him. _I reckon wherever you are, you're probably mad at me too. Don't know why I think that, it just feels like you are. And knowing me, I probably gave you a good reason to be.

I truly don't know what's wrong with me sometimes. Things just, I dunno, get too much, you know? And I lash out. I don't mean it, but it happens, and I'm not sure why.

Ha! Would you listen to me? Since you went missing, I've kinda had time to stop and look at myself. I mean, really look at myself. And, if I'm honest, I don't really recognise that guy staring back at me in the mirror. Oh jeez, now I sound like a girl! And you know what's worse? I'm sat here on my bed, back in my room in Djose Temple, and all I can think about is _you_.

_Where are you Rikku? _

It's been more than a month now, and it's really starting to wear me down. My people have heard the rumours and are starting to talk. They're all really worried. I guess I didn't realise what you meant to the Al Bhed as a whole. To me, you've always just been there, with that whiny voice, always pestering me for my attention.

Except, when I look back now, your voice doesn't seem so whiny, and you don't seem to be bothering me very much. In fact, come to think of it, I haven't really spoken with you for _years. _Nearly _three _years actually. Oh, there were those brief moments, when you were sphere hunting, and then with the Vegnagun thing. But, they were nothing. Just small talk, or whatever.

And even before that, we never really talked, not properly. Well, that's not strictly true...you would try and draw me into conversation, and I would either block you out, or stare at you with a face full of disbelief, until you blushed and gave up.

You know what else? I've been going over things again and again in my mind, and I've noticed I've been feeling kinda…_off_, for quite some time now. Nothing major, just like, something's missing. It's weird. At first I thought it was purpose, you know? Direction, and I sure have that now. And I'm not trying to say that the Faction and my work here hasn't filled a huge gap, because it has. But still, there's something just, sorta _wrong. _

_Is it you? _

* * *

**Rikku **

I've been at Clasko's for six, going on seven weeks now actually, and I'm feeling pretty restless. Plus, I can't stop thinking about you. It's driving me nuts, and I think…I think I have to see you. But, without Cid. Without anyone else _at all_ would be best. So, I'm sending you a message. I hope you'll come, and I hope, for once, you'll just do as I ask and not assume you know better than me.

Because you _don't_, Gippal.

Not when it comes to me. You really don't know me at all. And I realise now, that I share an equal responsibility for this. I should have spoke up sooner, I should have done _something, _anything! Even telling you how I feel, because when you rejected me, as I would absolutely expect you to, it would have made it easier to move on. I would have…I dunno…closure, or something like that. Instead of this incessant wondering, of _what if? _

So, I'm going to do it. I'm going to meet with you, and tell you that I won't marry you, because I love you, and you don't love me, so we should go our separate ways. At least, that's what I want to do. It'll probably all fly right out the window as soon as I see you. But I have to try.

I have to _try. _

* * *

_ Gippal, _

_Let me start by saying right off, I know about the wedding. Don't ask me how I know, just know that I do. However, I did not know before I decided to leave. I have found out since then, so it was not motivation for my disappearing act. _

_I'm sorry that you have wasted so much time looking for me, when you could have been working. I'll bet you're pretty angry with me right now. I don't blame you – you have every right to be, but you must also understand that I am not the only one at fault here. If you and everyone else has just been honest with me, this may have been avoided. But that's in the past now. _

_We need to talk, Gippal, and face to face, not over a CommSphere. And, we need to be alone. _

_So, meet me at the travel agency in the Calm Lands, __noon__, the day after next, and make sure you don't bring that reprobate of a Father of mine with you, or to put it frankly, there'll be trouble! _

_Rikku. _

* * *

**Gippal **

I just read your letter, and I really don't know what to make of it. How long have you been gone now? Is it nearly two months? I forget. And now, out of the blue, you send me this message, like you're inviting me round to tea or something! What the bloody hell is going on Rikku?

I think I'm a bit shell-shocked right now.

Of course I'll come. If only to wring your scrawny neck for worrying me, I mean, worrying your family and stuff. For taking me away from the Faction, when I should have been there. How did things get so bloody messed up in the first place anyway?

Oh yeah. Cid. This is really sorta his fault. Sure, I know I never said anything to you either, I just assumed you knew all about it. I realise I shouldn't assume, but given the situation, you would think that a Father had told his daughter he signed her life away to someone. It's not the type of thing a Dad would normally do if he expected to ever see his child again, or rather, continue breathing, in your case.

Jeez, thinking about it, it makes sense. Cid has always been very controlling and stubborn, to the point of being mulish. In fact, I'm surprised he let you hare off with Brother and Buddy in that airship of theirs, to become a sphere hunter. And those clothes! I'm pretty sure he expressed his opinion on them, rather loudly. Though, I guess because you had at least one family member looking out for you, he may have relaxed a bit. Maybe.

And I guess I've been just as bad, in my own way. All that mouthing off about locking you in your room after we're married…huh. I know you piss me off at times, but still. I didn't think I was _that _bad. You know, all this bloody introspection is starting to get on my nerves!

It just occurred to me, that that's not guaranteed anymore. The marriage, I mean. What with your birthday and everything, and you being eighteen, you can refuse to go through with the wedding, and contract or no contract; neither Cid nor I could do much about it.

It ceased to be binding once you became an adult.

Hmm…that's weird. I just felt a strong sinking feeling in my stomach, like when you're on a ship that crests a large wave. Is this…disappointment that you might say no? Am I actually concerned about that? And if I am, is it because of the ramifications it could have on my position as leader after Cid, or is it…_something else? _I'm so confused.

Could it…nah…no way! Or could it be…I mean, surely, I couldn't possibly…but…I _might. _

What I mean is, do I like you, Cid's girl?

* * *

**Rikku **

There you are.

Right where I asked you to be.

Gods, my chest feels tight.

You haven't noticed me yet, and I guess it's partly because I look so different. From the last time you saw me, that is. Most of the hair dye has washed out, but I've left it long, and mostly down. My clothes are rather more conservative than you are used to, so I suppose I don't look much like the Rikku you know and torment.

OK, so that was a bit harsh. You don't realise most of the stuff you say to me hurts. And that's because I never told you. I suppose there comes a point were a person has to _say _something, if someone is pissing them off or upsetting them. Put up or shut up, I think is the phrase.

Doesn't make this meeting any easier though, and when you turn and catch my eyes, my heart is screaming at me to run and throw myself into your arms. Not moving has become almost painful, the yearning is just that strong.

But of course, I don't do it. I don't even speak.

* * *

**Gippal **

Well, here I am. Waiting outside Rin's Shop looking like a lemon. I wish you would hurry up. I've never noticed before, just how _empty _the Calm Lands are. All this _space._ It's not like the Sanubia Desert either. I feel kinda exposed out here, and my eyes are constantly searching the horizon for any sign of you. There's a woman who's been walking towards me for a while, off to my left, but it can't be you. I looked over again to be sure.

Hmm…blonde hair though, so probably Al Bhed. Hang on a second, that _is _you! What have you done to yourself? You look so, so…_different. _

I lock eyes with you, and am suddenly overcome with a curious drowning sensation, of sheer craving.

Shit.

I think I might be in trouble.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own any part of FFX-2**

**A/N: Sorry for the abysmally long wait folks. Here is the last chapter!**

* * *

Chapter Five

* * *

"Love is the difficult realization that something other than oneself is real."

**Iris Murdoch (1919 - 1999)**

* * *

**Rikku**

I'm here, right in front of you. And I don't know what to say. Neither do you by the look of things. In fact, you look pretty uncomfortable. And, yes, there you go; you're rubbing your hand over the back of your head. Funny how you always do that when you're feeling awkward.

Looking at you now, I'd like to take you in my arms and soothe that unhappy feeling, but I can't.

"So, you came." I said, rather inadequately. Way to state the obvious, Rikku. It's like going up to Kimarhi and saying, 'Hey, you're really blue!' Pathetic.

"Yeah, well, you asked me to. And I – we, Yuna and that, I mean, were worried about you. Where have you been?" You ask, not unfairly.

I don't know if I really want to tell you, so that I'll always have a bolt-hole. And it's not fair to Clasko either, because I know if everyone finds out, some of them will give him a right telling off, namely (_cough) _Yuna (_cough)_.

"Oh, around, you know? Here and there. It doesn't really matter where specifically, does it?" I reply and you shoot me that frustrated and exasperated look that makes you seem so adorable. Not that you know it of course.

* * *

**Gippal**

What do you mean, like, _around_? What the hell kind of answer is that? Like you think it's alright to just disappear without telling anyone, and what the bloody hell have you done to yourself? You look… normal. And my Rikku is not normal!

Waaait a minute! I did not just call you _my _Rikku. Oh, right, I did. Two minutes with you, and already things are not going well. This just isn't my year.

"Yeah, it does. But you don't have to tell me, if you don't want. How are you? Are you alright? You're not hurt, you know?" I ask, trying to resist the urge to shake some sense into you. And judging by your face, it's earning me some brownie points. Huh, I'll have to remember that one.

"No, I'm fine. Um, thanks for asking." You reply looking as uncomfortable as I feel about now.

I pause.

"What happened to us, Rikku? Why do I feel like we're strangers?" I ask quietly, surprised at myself for the question. It's as if this, other, mature Gippal is in charge. Or maybe, it's you. I certainly don't behave this way around anyone else.

I wait for your answer, wondering if you have any idea what it is, because I know I certainly don't.

* * *

**Rikku**

You're looking at me so intently. I know you're waiting for an answer that I just don't have. Not a complete one anyway. What _did_ happen to us?

"We grew up." I reply with a shrug, and you flinch as if I had slapped you.

"That's not all it is, though right? I mean, I know I…_distanced_ myself from you when we were teenagers, but that's normal for guys right?" You ventured hesitantly and I shrug again, knowing it annoys you, but I _want_ to irritate you right now. What you and Cid arranged between you… well. I know I told you in my letter that it didn't matter – it does. And is pissing you off appeases the need for vengeance in my heart, well. You should just count yourself lucky my knives are safely tucked away right now.

You do that thing with your hair again, before continuing with whatever it was you were saying, or trying to say. Neither of us is expressing ourselves very well today.

"Please, don't just stand there and shrug. It's like you're dismissing anything that stood between us. Like you're dismissing us." You say in a plaintive voice, and I feel sorry for you.

"Us? Since when was there ever an 'us' Gippal? Because if there was, I sure never got the memo. We were friends, of course, but we grew apart. We've barely spoken two words to each other over the last three years! Please explain to me why you think that would make a good foundation for a successful marriage, because at the moment, I can't see anything that would make us suit." I reply, a touch scornfully, but I still feel like you deserve it.

You step back a moment, looking at me incredulously for a moment. Then something in you seems to snap. Oh dear. Bad Rikku! No biscuit!

"By the Gods woman, there's this!" You declared hotly, before stepping forward again, and in one solid movement, sweeping me into your arms.

* * *

**Gippal**

I don't know why I did it – why I just grabbed you like that.

All I can say is, that it hurt. Really hurt that you were standing there denying that we ever meant anything to each other. We did! We do... don't we?

I admit I never thought we did before, at least, not more than our childhood friendship. And the Gods know, we've been at odds for a long time. But still. I... really thought you liked me.

Thinking about it now, I don't know why I assumed that. Maybe you did at one time, but it's entirely possible that you've outgrown it, that you've moved on. The idea fills me with a sinking feeling of dread. And I find myself unable to voice the question that I suddenly and so desperately want to know the answer to.

Have you moved on from me, Cid's girl?

I pull away from our kiss, and hold your face in my hands. As loath as I am to let you go, I _have _to know. I can't - I can't just kiss you and hope that all of our problems will be swept away.

Though, if ever a kiss could blow a body away, it's yours. I don't know why I kept you at a distance for so long. If I'd known kissing you would make me feel like this, I would have done it long before now. Though, the rational part of my brain tells me I probably wouldn't have reacted so strongly if I hadn't admitted my feelings for you. If that's what I've done, of course. I think I have. At least, to myself.

But the idea of admitting them to you...

* * *

**Rikku**

You're looking at me now.

Dead in the eye.

And I can't look away.

Why do you look like I just broke your heart? Since when did Gippal, Leader of the Machine Faction and Ladies Man Extraordinaire, ever even have a heart? Because, surely, you must first possess a heart to have it broken. And even if you did, I never thought you would give it away to me, of all people.

"Wha-Why did you kiss me?" I ask, hating the quiver in my voice, and the nerves which make me stutter. I've dreamt of this, of being in your arms and being kissed by you, for so long, that the part of me which still loves you, is in almost complete control of me now.

"I – don't know." You hedge and something in my face must tell you that that was not a good answer, because you immediately start speaking again before I can say anything.

"It was just, I – when you were missing, initially I was angry and frustrated. I thought… I thought that you were taking valuable time away with your childish tantrums." You gulp, and I'm not surprised.

If I had a mirror on me right now, I would be able to see the kind of look that makes people say, '_If looks could kill…' _Because the words 'childish tantrums' do not sit well with me.

We both know that's not what this was. But again, you cut me off and carry on explaining.

* * *

**Gippal**

Uh-oh, I think I've well and truly put my foot in it now. You don't look pleased, not one little bit. But I was only being honest.

And it's just occurred to me, that being honest and upfront with you is probably the only way I'll ever stand a chance with you. And I want that chance. I _need_ that chance, I realise that now.

"You see, I was so wrapped up in myself and my work that I didn't once take time to spare a thought for what you wanted, what you needed. Or any plans you might have about your future. I just assumed you would fall in with whatever Cid and I wanted, since you always had done before."

I pull you closer, but hold you gently. To me, you feel like the most precious thing in the world. The fact that I sound all mushy doesn't even cross my mind, well, maybe a tiny piece of it. But I dismiss it out of hand. Everything I never even realised I wanted is standing right here in front me.

And it's you.

"I was wrong, Rikku. So wrong. I know you went along with things in the past, but that was different. I'm sorry we bartered you between us like some chocobo or scrap metal. That's not how I feel about you, and I'm sorry it took you leaving your home to make me realise it."

The look in your eyes is encouraging, but I don't stop there. I can't help but feel that if I let this chance pass me by, I'll never get another. And I wouldn't be able to live with myself if that happened. I'm sure no one else would be able to either.

* * *

**Rikku**

To say I have been blown away by the last few minutes would be an understatement.

I never thought I would live to see the day when you admit that you're wrong about something, Gippal. And then you went and used my name at the same time. It's all so overwhelming.

A voice in the back of my mind makes me question whether I can believe in this new you. I certainly _want_ to. When you pulled me closer and held me like I was made out of glass, I could not help the love I've hidden from you from escaping its bonds and flowing through every cell in my body.

Every fibre of my being wants this, wants you. And it's a battle not to surrender completely and damn the consequences.

But I can't, I mustn't.

Because you haven't said it to me. You haven't told me you love me, and until I know that you do, I can't risk placing my heart in your hands. You tore it to pieces once before, even you weren't aware of it. And I know I must not give you the opportunity to do it again. I don't think I would survive, if I did.

You kiss me again, slower this time, your lips warm and gentle on mine. I don't believe that I am imagining the tenderness and the depth of feeling in the way your mouth caresses mine.

You break away, and hold me to your chest, your words flooding out in a torrent of emotion.

* * *

**Gippal**

Deep breath, then let it all out.

"When we couldn't find you immediately, I began to worry. Just a little bit. And then gradually, as the days wore on and there was no word, it started to eat away at me. It got to the point where I was terrified that we would find news of you, only to rush there and discover your torn and mangled body."

Your head is against my chest, but your face is upturned towards mine. You're looking into my eyes while I speak, and I hope you can see that I'm not making any of this up. I was really scared for you, Rikku. Really scared.

I press on, desperately needing to get all this out in the air.

"It took me a while, going over our times together, putting it all straight in my mind. I realised then what I had done to you, how I treated you. I've said it before, and I'll say it again; I'm sorry. You trusted me, and I took everything we meant to each other and threw it away, like some discarded plaything. I was hiding, Rikku. Hiding from feelings so strong I had no idea what they were, or how to deal with them."

I disengage you from my arms and sink down to the turf on one knee. I know this is impulsive, but if this is what it takes, well, then this is what it takes.

"I-I love you, Rikku. I always have, I just didn't know it until you weren't there anymore. I wish I hadn't had to lose you to realise the truth. But I did. I love you, and I need you. I don't want to live without you. I want to marry you, and I would ask you this very second, but I don't think I deserve it – please, given time –"

* * *

**Rikku**

I don't care about the past anymore.

You just told me you love me, and I believe you. Yes, I wish it hadn't happened the way it did, but it _has_, and that's all I care about.

I should make you suffer more, I suppose, but what would be the point in that? We'll have enough problems in the future without me adding to them now.

So, I should make you wait, but I'm not going to. It would only mean making myself wait as well.

Therefore…

"Yes." I cut you off. "Yes, I will marry you. I love you too, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." See, simplicity always wins out in the end. Not that I haven't enjoyed making you grovel, but I'm also finding the gaping, fish-out-of-water expression your face at the moment highly entertaining.

"Y- You will? You do?" You breathe, as if you can't believe your own ears.

"Yes, I do and I will. As long as you'll have me?" I reply, slightly more nervous than I show.

* * *

**Gippal**

"I just said so, didn't I? Oh, Rikku! I'm so happy, I want to shout it out for the whole of Spira to hear! I won't though, don't worry." I reply, even more jubilant inside my own head.

In my mind, I've been doing some crazy, Brother-esque happy dance since the moment you said yes.

I've had some good days in my life, some all-out fantastic days. But this tops the lot. I don't care about image or my overdeveloped machismo anymore, (yes I heard you telling Nhadala that one time), all I care about is you, and I don't see that changing, ever.

"You realise what this means, don't you?" I say, with a smile so broad I think my face might split in six places.

Your smile is about a large as mine, and almost puts the sun to shame.

"What does it mean?" You reply, your hands restless as they roam over my body, as if learning it by touch alone. I'm more than happy for you to continue with that.

"I can't call you Cid's girl anymore. I'll have to call you _my girl_."

My Rikku.

You laugh, and it's the most wonderful sound I've ever heard.

* * *

**_The End_**


End file.
